


Waiting to be found

by subak_jumokbap



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Cliche, Friends to Lovers, M/M, i can't summary
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-11
Updated: 2018-07-15
Packaged: 2019-06-08 21:26:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 11,005
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15252381
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/subak_jumokbap/pseuds/subak_jumokbap
Summary: Donghyuck hates dealing with feelings. He avoids them at all cost and has been living life happily, successfully doing just that. However when there are feelings related to Mark involved, the whole game changes.





	1. Power naps don’t work like /this/

**Author's Note:**

> Mark is the same age as the 00 line. Jisung and Chenle are the same age, only a year younger than the rest. The setting isn't in Korea but I didn't fix any specific place so just know it's not in Korea haha. This didn't really turn out the way I wanted but I'm just gonna post it anyway because time and effort went into this so I hope you guys appreciate it! Tell me what you think!
> 
> (This was actually my first fic ever and I'm not that proud of it. Either way I would really appreciate your comments so I know where to improve on!)

Chapter 1: Power naps don’t work like _this_

Donghyuck is lying on his back, uniform drenched with sweat. They just ended a round of basketball. His chest heaves up and down as he tries to catch his breath. The sun is shining down fiercely onto the basketball court and he can hear Chenle and Jisung screaming at each other in the distance. It’s a typical afternoon after school, all seven of them playing some sport together in the park. Only that if it was up to Donghyuck, they would be playing soccer instead. Too bad he lost when they played rock-paper-scissors. Mark won and winner gets to choose the game for the week so this week, they’re playing basketball.

 Donghyuck closes his eyes and tries to tune out his friends' lively banter going on in the background. By the sound of it, it seems like Renjun has someone in a chokehold and Jisung can be heard laughing obnoxiously. Which could only mean one thing: poor Chenle. Mark, Jeno and Jaemin aren’t around since they went to the convenience store to buy drinks and some snacks a while ago. Donghyuck hopes they’re already on the way back. He really needs a cool drink to fight the immense heat. As if his prayers were heard, he hears Jeno's voice accompanied by Mark's and Jaemin's laughter. Few seconds later, something cold touches his forehead.

 He opens his eyes and immediately squints due to the blinding brightness of the sun. He looks to his right and Mark is sitting there holding a bottle of cola to his forehead. Mark's looking at Donghyuck and he breaks into a smile when they make eye contact. Donghyuck gives him a grin and grabs the bottle as he sits up. He uncaps it and takes a few gulps.

"Took you guys long enough. I thought I was going to die from the heat," Donghyuck says as he dramatically fans himself. They’re sitting down side by side, observing their group of friends in front of them. Jaemin has Chenle in a backhug and Jeno can be seen laughing and dragging Renjun by his waist away from Chenle. Jisung seems to be enjoying the whole spectacle.

 Mark rolls his eyes and snatches the drink from Donghyuck's hands. "Then why didn’t you, it would have done us all a favour," Mark replies. Donghyuck hits his back in retaliation.

 "You all wouldn’t survive without me, I'm sure of it." Mark simply looks him in the eyes, raises his eyebrows and laughs. Donghyuck voices out his hopes of Mark choking on the drink. Donghyuck turns his attention away, towards the mess happening in front of them.

 "Hey Renjun! Stop harassing the kids! It isn’t worth your time anyway. The snacks are better!" Donghyuck hollers to Renjun and the whole group comes over to where Donghyuck and Mark are, having seen the bags of snacks and drinks by Mark's feet. Soon enough they’re all sitting about the court munching and quenching their thirst. The sun is still so mercilessly bright and Donghyuck feels lazy and sleepy. It seems like no one else is up for another game of basketball either, choosing to sit and chat instead. Jeno's recounting to them about his calculus class earlier where he got caught sleeping by Mr Kim. Donghyuck, being in the same class, was there to witness the whole thing. He decides that it’s not worth listening to since he already knows what happened so he decides on a nap instead. He shifts closer to Mark, lays his head on Mark's lap and closes his eyes. A few seconds later, there's fingers in his hair, pulling the strands softly and stroking his hair gently. Mark always does this whenever Donghyuck lies in his lap. It’s purely out of habit. Which is proven so when he hears Mark laugh at something Jeno said. Mark's focus may be on Jeno but his subconscious isn’t, given by how his fingers are naturally playing with Donghyuck's hair. The thought of it makes Donghyuck feel funny inside. He doesn't know why though. He doesn’t give the matter much thought and simply chooses to fall asleep, Mark's laughter being the last thing he hears as he drifts into unconsciousness.

 Donghyuck's friendship with Mark is different from his friendship with the rest of the group. Although he knows Jaemin and Jisung the longest, being neighbours, he feels much closer to Mark then he is with the rest. Donghyuck met Mark in middle school, and that’s how it all started. Donghyuck and Mark became friends in the most unusual way. Donghyuck was sitting outside of his classroom, being punished for throwing his eraser at Jaemin, only for it to hit the teacher's back instead. Donghyuck was supposed to write a reflection and apologise for his mistake. He takes his time writing the reflection though, singing a song he made up about how mean his teacher is under his breath. Suddenly he hears someone clearing their throat. He looks to his side and sees a boy with soft dark hair and big round glasses sitting in front of the adjacent classroom. Ah, a fellow criminal.

 "Hey!" Donghyuck whisper-shouts to the boy. "What're you being punished for?"

"I dozed off and started sleep-talking a little too loudly. You?"

 "Might have accidentally Hit Mrs. Lee with my eraser. What’s your name? I'm Donghyuck."

 "Mark."

 They whisper-shouted to each other throughout the entire conversation. Mark fidgets and looks over at Donghyuck, very obviously contemplating on asking Donghyuck something. Donghyuck looks on in amusement. Mark seems to have made up his mind and finally says, "I heard that song you were singing, uhh, about Mrs. Lee..."

 Donghyuck looks him in the eye, as if challenging him. "Are you going to tell on me?" he asks.

 "No! I was just wondering if I could sing along but with my teacher's name instead," Mark replies with a serious face.

 Donghyuck stares at Mark, incredulous, trying to tell if he was really serious or joking. Then Mark sends him a cheeky grin and Donghyuck couldn’t help it when a laugh escaped his mouth. They both start laughing until Mrs. Lee comes out, giving Donghyuck another reflection to write. It was worth it. After that day, he hung out with Mark and introduced Mark to Jaemin and Jisung. Mark introduced them to Renjun and Jeno in return. Chenle comes along one year later, having moved from China to the house beside Jisung's. Suddenly there's seven of them and Donghyuck can’t imagine it being any other way.

 Donghyuck's glad he met Mark that day because there's no one else that can understand him so well. Donghyuck guesses that’s the reason why Mark and him are so close. Mark makes up for anything Donghyuck lacks and Donghyuck does the same. They’ve spent so much time together, they can read each other easily. They’ve seen each other grow through awkward puberty, seen each other at their peaks and low points and were there through each other’s proudest moments. Mark is a best friend Donghyuck never thought he could have but he can’t imagine having anyone else. Kill him if Mark ever finds out.

 Presently, Donghyuck is having a nap at the basketball court in the park and it’s not that hot out anymore which means the sun is starting to set. Which in turn also means that he's been napping for a while. He stirs and opens his eyes. He scans his surroundings, noting that he is still lying down on Mark's lap. He looks up and sees Mark using his phone and smiling at it. It must be a video on puppies. Typical Mark Lee. Donghyuck sits up and notices the lack of five other humans around him. The rest of his friends are gone. Great, he's walking home on his own. Some neighbours Jisung, Chenle and Jaemin are. Still groggy from his nap, he rests his head on Mark's shoulder, getting a view of Mark's phone. Ahah, it is a video on puppies after all.

 "Mark why didn’t you wake me up. All the others are gone. How long was I asleep?" Donghyuck asks as he yawns and stretches out his arms.

 "Like an hour or so? You were sleeping so peacefully. On my lap, you’re very welcome. You looked like you needed some rest anyway. So I told the rest to go on home without us."

Donghyuck lifts his head up from Mark's shoulder. He frowns and tries to analyse Mark’s face but he couldn’t find anything… off? Mark’s acting as though this is a totally normal thing. That’s when it dawns upon Donghyuck  that it _is_ probably normal. As if that realisation was a trigger, a bunch of other thoughts flood through his mind. It has always been like this, hasn’t it? Mark doing things for him. Everything Mark does is calculated with Donghyuck in mind, if not out of instinct, then on purpose. Donghyuck realises at that moment, he doesn’t act much different either. Everything he does kind of, sort of, almost always revolves around Mark.

 He watches Mark carefully, at how Mark is smiling so softly, watching the puppies on his phone. His eyes goes over Mark's face, from the full cheekbones to the sharp jawline, to his lips and then to his eyes. Donghyuck looks at his best friend and his heart is suddenly overwhelmed. And he realises. How much he cares for his stupid best friend. How much the idiot in front of him means to him. He realises, with an alarming clarity despite having woken up from a nap, what all this means but he's scared to admit it out loud, or even internally, the reason he’s feeling this way. He chooses to push this new found revelation about his feelings down. He’s never been good at dealing with feelings anyway. He'll deal with it later. Donghyuck sighs. What a way to wake up from a nap. He drapes his arm over Mark's shoulder. Mark leans in to Donghyuck, eyes still focused on the video. How annoyingly adorable.

 "Come on Mark Lee. Time to go home. Wouldn’t want your mom thinking I’m a bad influence," Donghyuck says. "Actually who am I kidding, your mom loves me!" he adds on smugly and laughs.

 "You know, I stayed here for over an hour with you in my lap only to have you not thanking me for it. Or apologising. Or both really."

 "Please, no one asked you to do that. So no, I’m not thanking you or saying sorry. You chose not to wake me up, not my fault. Besides, you got to watch all those cute puppies." Donghyuck counters. "Also my sleeping face is a blessing you should learn to appreciate." Mark pretends to vomit at that and laughs afterwards. He stands up and brushes the dust of his pants. He offers his hand to Donghyuck to help him up. There it is, actions with Donghyuck in mind. Donghyuck grabs his hand and pulls himself up, but doesn’t let go. He intertwines their fingers instead and swings their hands back and forth like small kids do as they make their way out of the court. Mark doesn’t take his hand away, he's used to it already. He tightens his grip instead and something blooms in Donghyuck’s chest.

 Silence accompanies them as they walk when Donghyuck suddenly speaks up. "You know... I _am_ sorry you had to stay behind because I fell asleep on you. And thanks for… uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh… stayingwithme," Donghyuck throws it out casually, eyes set in front of him instead of looking over at Mark. Suddenly the road looks so interesting.

 Mark looks over at Donghyuck, amusement dancing in his eyes. "Hyuck, I wasn’t serious about the apology thing. You know that."

 "I know, but I am. Serious, that is. About the apology thing," Donghyuck says and starts walking faster because he certainly _does not_ feel embarrassed _._ Mark has to keep up because their hands are interlaced. "But I won’t apologise to you ever again in like a million years by the way so better take what you can get," Donghyuck quickly adds on.

 They’re finally at the lamppost which marks the point where they go separate ways since they live in different neighbourhoods. Mark lets go of Donghyuck’s hand and ruffles his hair.

 "I know, idiot. I'll take it. Jot it down in my diary maybe, so that I'll remember it forever," Mark jokes. "So, I guess I'll see you tomorrow at school then."

 "Shut up, Mark Lee. Yeah, see you whenever."

 Mark smiles and punches Donghyuck playfully on the shoulder. He turns left and walks down the street to his neighbourhood. Donghyuck doesn’t move just yet. He counts the number of steps Mark takes. One.... five.... seven.... ten. Just as expected at his tenth step, Mark turns around with a grin on his face and waves goodbye to Donghyuck. Donghyuck can’t help but smile as he waves back. Every time. That idiot. Mark continues walking and only when he turns the corner, Donghyuck turns right to walk down his own street.

 As Donghyuck walks home, the feelings that he pushed down start to resurface. Donghyuck thinks about the realisations that dawned upon him at the court earlier. He doesn’t know why today, why now but now that he realises, he can’t change how he feels. He now knows he cares for Mark beyond friendship. He couldn’t admit it then, but after thinking about it, he's pretty sure of what he feels and there’s no point denying anyway. He likes Mark. He really likes Mark. There he said it.

 Donghyuck sighs as he continues walking, kicking pebbles out of his path. Stupid Mark Lee and his stupid smile and his stupid face. His stupid manners and his stupid laugh. Now Donghyuck has a stupid crush on his stupid best friend. Maybe he shouldn’t have napped, Donghyuck thinks. He only realised all those things when he woke up from his nap. Who wakes up from a nap only to realise they’re having a crush on their best friend? Donghyuck sighs for the thousandth time that day. He thinks he won’t be taking anymore naps for a while. He has things to do now anyway apart from napping. Like figure out what to do with this stupid crush of his.

 

 

 


	2. What Are Neighbours For

Donghyuck hates dealing with feelings in any situation. He hates confronting them and talking about emotions and all that stuff. Which is why he doesn’t want to have a crush at the moment until he’s prepared to deal with emotions as a courageous adult one hundred years later. Never mind that the crush is on his best friend, he just doesn’t want to have a crush on _anyone_ in general. That’s all. Donghyuck thinks that crushes are emotionally draining and very unnecessary so he avoids anything that will make him _feel_ things. Now though, he is _feeling_ things and he’s wondering if he can undo it. Having a crush on a best friend is a disaster anyway, all the romance books and movies have proven it. There’s just no good crushing on your best friend. Donghyuck doesn’t know how to deal with this problem of his so he calls his personal counsellor who always helps him out whenever he needs it. The doorbell rings minutes after the call, he’s here.

 Donghyuck opens the door and sees a very pissed Na Jaemin standing in his doorway. Donghyuck throws his arms around him and hangs on extra-tight because he’s _not_ guilty for calling Jaemin over at nine at night on a school day.

 “You’re lucky I really love hugs,” Jaemin says before hugging Donghyuck back extra tight. “You better have a really good excuse for calling me over,” Jaemin says once they’re inside Donghyuck’s room. Donghyuck rolls his eyes. It’s not like Jaemin had to travel far to come over. He literally lives next door, but Donghyuck appreciates his presence nonetheless.

 They’re sitting cross-legged, facing each other on Donghyuck’s bed. “Do you remember when we were playing basketball the other day and then you guys left me and Mark behind,” Donghyuck starts, looking at Jaemin. Jaemin who was shifting about trying to get comfy suddenly stops. He looks like a deer caught in headlights. So he _does_ know how to feel guilty, Donghyuck thinks. Jaemin schools his expression and tries to play it off coolly.

 “Dude, it was only last week of course I remember. And I’m not sorry about that. I let you sleep longer, you should be thankful.” 

No, _Jaemin_ should be thankful Donghyuck has other pressing matters at hand.

“ _The point_ is,” Donghyuck emphasizes, “I kind of realised a few things that day.”

So Donghyuck begins telling Jaemin about what happened and when he’s done, Jaemin has a huge grin on his face. Donghyuck has never felt so scared in his life.

“Hyuck, this is a good thing! We should celebrate! You’re _feeling_ things, and for Mark might I add!” Jaemin exclaims, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.

 “No Jaemin I want to get rid of these feelings,” Donghyuck says exasperated. “Anyway Mark is my best friend, I can’t have a crush on him! That’s like… the rules.”

 “What rules?” Jaemin questions, raising an eyebrow.

“My rules! Now tell me what to do. How do I get rid of this crush Nana.”

“Look, I don’t get why you don’t want to like someone. It’s perfectly normal to like someone Hyuck,” Jaemin tells him, voice softer than at the start. “You’ve always said you’re not interested in relationships but I feel like there’s something else you’re not telling me. Every time you come close to liking someone, you try to bury your feelings or pretend nothing happened. I don’t think that’s healthy Hyuck.” Jaemin states. He looks slightly nervous but the concern is there in his eyes. It seems like it’s been on his mind for a while and it probably required some courage for him to even bring this up, given how well attuned he is to Donghyuck’s displeasure of having heart-to-heart talks. Jaemin once told him he’s a walking contradiction - for someone who is so affectionate (and clings and _touches_ ), Donghyuck rarely opens up to others.

 “I’m not trying to force you to tell me anything. I just want you to know that I’m here for you and I love you and that won’t ever change. I care for you and I only want to help you Hyuck,” Jaemin assures. Donghyuck’s stupid if he doesn’t know that much. Na Jaemin will do anything for the people he cares about and he ensures Donghyuck knows that he’s cared for at least five times a day. Ten times for Jisung. Everytime Jaemin says something like that in situations where Donghyuck feels helpless, it feels as if the sincerity gets conveyed tenfold and each of his words gets delivered straight to Donghyuck’s heart. Donghyuck knows he can trust Jaemin, so he does. He lowers the walls that’s been guarding his heart for the past few years. Jaemin deserves to be let in, since a long time ago.

“It’s nothing big. It’s just… after my parents’ divorce, it scares me how people can change. How you can go from loving someone with all your heart and then one day, you don’t want to have them in your life anymore. It frightens me how feelings can change, Jaemin. I keep thinking of the what ifs. The bad what ifs.” Donghyuck explains, keeping his gaze down because he doesn’t want to know what kind of expression Jaemin is wearing. He feels very vulnerable right now and so exposed he doesn’t want people to see him like this.

 “I mean, of course my parents are still in good terms and we’re all happy! But I guess I’m hesitant of getting into a relationship because I’m already afraid of falling out of love before I even fall in love. I’m not scared that the other person would stop liking me, it’s the other way. I would hate myself if I fall in love with someone but as time passes, I don’t want to have them around anymore. So I avoid dealing with feelings altogether.”

Donghyuck’s voice turns raw as he pours everything out to Jaemin. When he’s done, he feels much better than expected. He’s been keeping these thoughts to himself and to finally be able to let them out to someone makes him feel relieved. He doesn’t have to bear these thoughts alone. When he finally looks up at Jaemin who’s sitting so quietly in front of him, he sees that Jaemin’s eyes are watery. Before he knows it, Jaemin has him in a bone-crushing hug.

 “Oh, Hyuck! I should have known, I’m so sorry. But I’m glad you trusted me enough to share it with me. Thank you,” Jaemin says as he sniffles into Donghyuck’s shoulder. He lets Donghyuck go and grabs him by his shoulder firmly. “Listen Hyuck, it’s okay to have these worries. I’m not going to tell you to not be afraid. It’s okay to be afraid. Feelings aren’t constant and they always change but that’s what makes us human. What you must remember is that feelings don’t change out of their own accord, feelings don’t have minds of their own. It’s us that control them and it’s us that cause the change. So if you just take care of yourself and your feelings Hyuck, you’re gonna be okay. Keep in touch with your feelings and don’t lie to yourself, ” Jaemin says comfortingly. “And I’ve known you for like half my life. Hyuck when you love, you love fiercely and I know that. Falling out of love should be the least of your concerns. The Hyuck I know isn’t easily swayed no matter what. The person you’d come to be with would be really lucky to have you.”

Donghyuck looks into Jaemin’s eyes and he sees the sincerity there. He’s really thankful to have Jaemin at his side at all times. He doesn’t deserve Jaemin so he makes it clear to Jaemin just how much he appreciates their friendship by calling Jaemin a sap. He gets a shove to his shoulder in return.

 “So what do you suggest I do?”

“I think it’s time you accept your feelings and see how it works out. I’m not saying you confess now _obviously_ , but when the time comes-“

“You can’t expect me to confess to him!”

“You might eventually have to Hyuck. Or even want to. And Mark would never hurt you, you know that. All I’m saying is give it a try. Even if it doesn’t work out and Mark doesn’t feel the same way and your friendship will never be the same aga-“

“Nana,” Donghyuck deadpans, “You’re not helping.”

 “Stop cutting me off! _Point_ is, I just want you to know that Mark would never hate you or do anything to change the friendship you guys have. I know that much and I’m pretty sure you know it too.”

“So just accept my feelings and go for it?”

“That’s my boy.”

So Donghyuck comes to a conclusion. He won’t bury his feelings anymore and just let whatever happen, happen. He just hopes that Jaemin is right and he doesn’t end up losing Mark. Its’ about time the walls guarding his heart take a break. He’s ready.

 

It’s a boring and slow Wednesday morning. Donghyuck’s in calculus class trying his hardest not to fall asleep. His rests his head in his palms as he scans the classroom. He spots Jeno on the other side dozing off very obviously, head bouncing up and down every few seconds. Donghyuck recognises an opportunity when he sees one. He cuts a small part of his eraser, takes aim and shoots. Bullseye. Jeno jerks up immediately, his chair screeching back. Donghyuck quickly averts his attention back down to his textbook. Mr Kim looks over at Jeno and shakes his head in disapproval. Jeno rubs the back of his neck and gives a sheepish smile.

“Ah yes Jeno, glad to have you back with us. As I was saying, I hope all of you are prepared for the test tomorrow. I gave you one week to study for it, I hope to see good results!” Mr Kim informs and just then the bell rings indicating lunch break. Donghyuck however for once in his life did not register the bell immediately because _did Mr Kim just say test? Announced last week?_ He sends an emergency look over at Jeno, only to see Jeno mirroring the same panic expression on his face. Great, they’re both idiots. They really need to pay more attention in calculus. Resigned to his fate, Donghyuck makes his way over to Jeno’s table and sits on it while Jeno packs up his stuff. When Jeno’s done, he stands and looks at Donghyuck.

  “My house after school?” Jeno asks, sounding defeated. Donghyuck nods resignedly and jumps off the table. Jeno sighs and throws his hand over Donghyuck’s shoulder. Donghyuck’s hand naturally goes to Jeno’s waist. At least they’re in this together. They make their way to the cafeteria, hoping that today’s menu would at least make the day better.

 “Why didn’t you listen last week. If you had, we would have more time to study,” Donghyuck whines.

 “Excuse you but last time I checked, you weren’t listening either!” Jeno counters.

 “That’s ‘cause I was busy throwing things at you to keep you awake!”

 “Well then maybe you should try harder!”

 “Oh yeah? How ‘bout if I do this?” Donghyuck says and starts tickling Jeno, attacking his sides and every other part he can reach. “Will you stay awake better huh?”

 Jeno keels over in laughter and uses his hand that was over Donghyuck’s shoulder to hit him to get him to stop.

 “Stop it Hyuck! I’m dying! If I die you’re gonna be a criminal!”

 “Hah! I’ll be a legend! First man ever to tickle someone to death!” 

They enter the cafeteria like a pair of clingy fools, laughing like there’s not a care in the world or a calculus test the very next day.

Their friends are already there at their usual table. They were discussing about playing basketball when Donghyuck and Jeno entered the cafeteria, hands all over each other and giggling non-stop. Mark watches them as they make their way over. He belatedly registers Chenle’s voice directed at him. He turns to Chenle to answer but Jaemin’s stare catches his attention. Jaemin’s looking at him weirdly. Mark scrunches his eyebrows together, sending Jaemin a questioning look. Jaemin shakes his head and resumes his conversation with Renjun. Weird, Mark thinks.

“Mark, are you listening to me? Mark. Hey. Maaaaaaaaark,” Chenle whines.

 “Oh sorry. Sure Chenle, I’ll be down,” Mark answers.

 “Down for what?” Jeno questions as he sits himself beside Mark while  Donghyuck settles between Jeno and Jaemin.

 “Basketball today after school,” Jisung answers. “You guys are coming right?”

 “Ugh can’t. Hyuck and I have a calculus test tomorrow. We’re studying at my house today after school,” Jeno replies.

 “That sucks man. But also what kind of test gets announced only one day prior? Seems like your calculus teacher is really mean,” Renjun states pointedly.

 “Yeah he’s the meanest! But actually it was announced last week. We kind of conveniently forgot so now we only have a day left,” Donghyuck explains sheepishly and that earned both him and Jeno groans and insults, as if they weren’t already beating themselves up about it.

 Donghyuck spends the whole afternoon at Jeno’s place cramming as much formulas and doing as many practice questions as possible. His brain is tired and he think he’s seen enough of x and y’s for the day. He looks at the clock and thinks that he better head back if he wants to make it in time for dinner. He says goodbye to Jeno and politely declines Jeno’s mother’s offer of dinner. He already told his mum he’d be back home for dinner and he doesn’t want to disappoint. He walks past Jeno’s house and was about to walk past Mark’s house as well (it’s just beside Jeno’s) when he spots Mark sitting in the swing set in his yard reading a book. Mark looks so serene and at peace that Donghyuck considers walking past but he really wants to see Mark and talk to him. Donghyuck promised himself he wouldn’t run away from his feelings this time, so he moves closer to the fence and shouts to get Mark’s attention. Mark looks up from his book and sees Donghyuck’s face. He puts the book down on the swing set and makes a move towards the fence.

 “Oh hey Hyuck! Heading back?” Mark greets him.

 “Yeah, promised my mum I’d be back for dinner. How was basketball with the boys?”

 “The usual. Really rowdy. Renjun almost killed Chenle again today.” Mark laughs and it’s one of Donghyuck’s favourite sounds in the world.

 “How was your study date with Jeno?”

 “The most boring date ever. But kind of productive I guess? I still have a few more topics to go through tonight. Kill me please.”

 “I would, but it seems like calculus is already on it,” Mark jokes. “Hey how about this Saturday you come over? We can play video games and waste the day away. A reward for working hard,” Mark offers.

 “Like, _just_ you and me?” Donghyuck asks. He’s so used to spending time together with the others that the idea of spending time alone with Mark seems foreign now even if they used to do it before. Not that he doesn’t want it. He misses it actually.

 “I mean I can invite whoever else is free too if you want,” Mark says but he’s watching Donghyuck’s expression to see if that’s what Donghyuck really wants. Mark doesn’t sound like he’s very keen on asking the others to come over and  Donghyuck is thankful because he isn’t very keen on it either. He wants to spend a day with his best friend (read: crush) alone.

 “No, just us is fine,” Donghyuck says trying to hide the blush that’s creeping up.

 “Great! Just like old times then?” Mark asks with a twinkle in his eyes.

 “Exactly like old times,” Donghyuck grins.

 

 The next day after school, the group decides on getting ice-cream over playing basketball since the weather was getting hotter. They’re walking to the ice-cream shop near their school with Mark and Renjun up front, Jisung, Chenle and Jeno following behind and Donghyuck with Jaemin a distance behind the trio. Having seven boys together means there’s no room for silence or normalcy. As they walk, Renjun jumps on Mark’s back and Mark laughs as he resignedly piggybacks Renjun. (“I’m King of the world Mark! Faster!” “I will drop you and walk over your body.”) Jeno, Jisung and Chenle can be heard arguing about some videogame. By the sound of it, it seems that they think whoever is the loudest wins the argument. Jaemin and Donghyuck are a few metres behind, taking their own sweet time.

 “Hey Hyuck, you okay? You’re being awfully quiet,” Jaemin says.

 “Huh? Yeah why wouldn’t I be?” Donhyuck answers but he seems distracted by something, gaze set straight in front. Jaemin follows Donghyuck’s line of vision and finds himself looking at Mark and Renjun.

 “Ahh, I see what it is. The green monster has come out to play,” Jaemin teases, bumping his shoulder into Donghyuck’s. Donghyuck tells Jaemin to mind his own business and shoves him off the sidewalk into the grass. Jaemin shrieks and Donghyuck snickers as he runs to catch up with the loud trio up ahead. 

 Getting ice-cream was the greatest decision. They sat in the ice-cream place ordering three tubs of ice-cream and basking in the cool air from the air-conditioning. They would have stayed there longer if not for a crowd forming outside the shop. So they left and made their way back home, this time Mark lingers in the shop a bit, waiting for the others to leave first to catch Donghyuck at the back of their group. Donghyuck tries his best to ignore the wink Jaemin sends his way.

 Mark and Donghyuck are at the back of the group and even though they’re just walking together side by side, Donghyuck can’t help but think that it feels intimate somehow. Like they’re hiding something from their friends, which they’re not obviously. Well, only Donghyuck is but that’s beside the point.

 Their hands brush each other’s a few times as they walk but Donghyuck notes that Mark doesn’t pull away. Which isn’t anything new since they prefer holding hands anyway, it’s their _thing_. So he moves a bit closer to Mark just to see how much longer they’ll keep at it, to see who grabs who’s hand first.

 “How was your test? Jeno said he might flunk it, but by the looks of it, it’s the last thing on his mind,” Mark states and nods his head forward in Jeno’s direction and true enough, Jeno is chasing after Chenle, screaming about something Donghyuck hopes he never has to know. 

 “Yeah well that’s Jeno for you,” Donghyuck states pointedly. Another brush of the hands. Donghyuck comes a little bit closer. “It was kinda tricky but I think I’ll pass. If not then whatever. Calculus can do what it wants, it can’t touch me.”

 “That’s funny,” Mark starts, “because just yesterday you and Jeno were up all night being slaves to calculus. But it’s okay, you go give that calculus a piece of your mind.” Another brush and Donghyuck moves much closer this time that they’re at the point of contact where their hands will keep brushing at every step. Donghyuck really wants to reach out and grab Mark’s hand but he doesn’t want to seem _that_ needy. He’s clingy but he has his pride. _Maybe wait a few more steps?_

 “You think you’re so funny Mark Lee,” Donghyuck retorts but there’s no real bite in his words. He’s more focused at the contact his hands keep making with Mark’s and he really just wants to feel the warmth from Mark’s palm. Donghyuck thinks his pride can take a kick once in a while and decides to grab Mark’s hand when suddenly something is grabbing his hand instead. It’s warm and it fits perfectly and it’s _Mark’s_. Donghyuck looks down at their hands somewhat startled but happiness takes over in an instant. Still looking down and knowing his face isn’t within Mark’s vision, Donghyuck lets out a smile.

 “Hey I was just teasing,” Mark says softly, swinging their hands back and forth like the kindergarten kids they are. “Anyway, you still on for our plan on Saturday right? Let me just remind you that tomorrow is Saturday by the way,” Mark says off-handedly. Donghyuck sends him a pointed glare. He may be forgetful but “ _I can at least keep track the days of the week, thank you_.” Mark chuckles and then he says, “Can’t wait to beat your ass in Mario-Kart tomorrow. I almost forgot how it feels like.”

 Donghycuk scoffs, “Can’t forget something you never felt before Mark Lee.”

 “Yeah yeah whatever.”

 Even though they keep bantering back and forth, it’s all talk and no bite because in the end they’re still laughing and literally stuck to each other. Donghyuck’s just glad that he gets to spend the day with Mark on Saturday.

 At their particular lamppost, they split ways. Neighbours Mark, Renjun and Jeno head left while neighbours Donghyuck, Jaemin, Jisung and Chenle head right. Donghyuck’s heart is full and he’s slightly giddy, already excited about his plans with Mark. He’s in a good mood overall and his steps are light as he walks. He grabs Jisung and throws his arm over Jisung’s shoulder.

 “You’re really clingy,” Jisung whines and tries to get away.

 “Did you just realise Jisungie,” Donghyuck coos and tightens his hold over Jisung just to annoy him.

 “No but I did realise something though,” Jisung starts and he stands up straighter. “You’re really clingy but you don’t really hold hands with either of us. Except Mark. _Only_ Mark. I don’t know about you but it seems to me…” Jisung leaves his sentence hanging there and there’s a mischievous smirk on his face.

 Donghyuck was definitely caught off-guard by Jisung’s statement and he can feel blood rushing to his ears. He tries to school his expression into neutrality but from the amused looks on Jaaemin’s and Chenle’s faces, it’s too late to save himself.

 “Y’know Jisung, if you wanted me to hold your hand just say so,” Donghyuck replies trying to deflect whatever it is Jisung’s planned for him.

 “Careful, if you keep showing  Mark favouritism, people might start thinking you like him,” Jisung teases and makes a run for it.

 “You brat! Jaemin is this how you raised him? Come back here you little shit!“ Donghyuck shouts after Jisung and chases him. Chenle and Jaemin can be heard cackling in the back and Donghyuck thinks maybe he should move to a new neighbourhood where the neighbours are actually nice to him. 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tell me what you think!


	3. Risks or chances?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the final chapter!

Saturday comes around and Donghyuck practically rushes out of his house after lunch, grabbing his bike and making his way over to Mark’s house. The weather was perfect, the clouds were lazing about and the Sun’s rays were peeking through bringing about just the right amount of warmth. The breeze caresses Donghyuck’s face as he rides past the row of houses and he’s never felt this peaceful in a long time. He leaves his bike outside of Mark’s fence and walks in. The door is open and Donghyuck hears a lot of movement going on in the house. He knocks but enters anyway, having spotted Mark’s mum putting plants into pots in the kitchen. Donghyuck walks up to her to greet her and she welcomes him with a hug and a pinch to his cheeks. Mark’s mum treats him just like one of her own, having seen Donghyuck and Mark grow up together over the years. Donghyuck compliments the pretty little pots before going up the stairs to where Mark’s room is. He notices that nothing much has changed since the last time he’s been over. He doesn’t know why but the feeling of familiarity brings him comfort. When he reaches the top of the stairs, Donghyuck looks at the table in the corner to his left and smiles when he spots a picture of Mark and him on the table beside the vase of flowers. The picture was taken a few summers ago and it’s been there ever since. It might just be his second most favourite thing in the Lee household.

 He reaches Mark’s room and knocks against the open door to make his presence known. He leans against it, folds his arms across his chest and takes in the sight in front of him. Mark is lying down on his bed, earphones plugged in and phone in his hand. Mark raises his head and looks over to his door, breaking into a grin when he spots Donghyuck.

“Enjoying your afternoon nerd Lee?” Donghyuck asks as he moves towards Mark’s bed when Mark motions him over. Mark sits up and pats the space beside him. Donghyuck plops down and grabs at the plushies at the head of the bed.

“I’ve missed you guys so much!” Donghyuck exclaims as he gathers them all in his arms.

“They’re the real reason you came over didn’t you. I was just a tool,” Mark pouts.

He’s being annoyingly adorable again. Donghyuck will not be swayed. “Truth hurts loser Lee.”

“Well enjoy your reunion while you can then. I know the plan was Mario-Kart but I was thinking maybe we could go out instead, cycle a bit?” Mark asks, tilting his head trying to get Donghyuck’s attention.

 “Sounds great actually. It’s really nice out today,” Donghyuck replies but he’s more focused on the duck plush toy in his hands. He tilts it this way then that way, and then squishing it altogether.

“It might get chilly later in the evening so grab one of my cardigans before we go. I don’t want to hear you whining about it later on,” Mark says as he makes a move to get off the bed and get ready.

“Did you hear that duckie, he’s so naggy. He’s like a 70 year-old grandma,” Donghyuck complains to the plush toy. He pouts and then uses his finger to nod _duckie’s_ head up and down, making it seem like _duckie_ agrees with him. Mark rolls his eyes and kicks Donghyuck off the bed. It’s what he deserves for talking bad about Mark in Mark’s room and making his plush toys go against him.

“Petty Lee,” comes from a disgruntled voice somewhere on the floor.

Ten minutes later they’re both cycling their way through the neighbourhood, enjoying the wind in their hair and the pretty sceneries whooshing past as they ride. They cycle into other neighbourhoods too, stopping at a convenience store for an ice-cream break and making their way to the park after. It was starting to get dark when they reached the park and they decide to find comfort under the shade of a large old tree for a while before they head back. It really did get chilly and Donghyuck gratefully puts on the cardigan he grabbed before leaving. He lies down on the grass beside Mark, hands underneath his head, observing the sky above and sighing in content. Mark rustles around in his pocket before pulling out his phone and earphones. He plays a song and puts one side of the earphones in his ear, the other in Donghyuck’s. It’s a song Donghyuck recognises. Actually, it’s a song he knows too well. It’s his favourite song. He introduced the song to Mark last summer and it seems that Mark likes the song just as much as he does. 

Donghyuck hums the song underneath his breath and lets his mind wander as he enjoys the nature surrounding him. Somewhere in the middle of the song, Donghyuck turns his head to look at Mark. Mark has his eyes closed as he drums his fingers against his chest to the beat of the song. There’s a pleased expression on his face. Mark looks so content and peaceful and at ease that Donghyuck can’t help but _laugh_. Because he’s _happy_. Because he’s really happy at this moment right now and there’s nothing else he can ask for. He captures this moment in his head and stores it somewhere he’ll remember forever. He thinks he’ll look back at it even when he’s old and grey. He _knows_ he’ll look back at it even when he’s old and grey.

Mark opens his eyes to the sound of Donghyuck’s laughter and looks at Donghyuck in confusion because he can’t comprehend why Donghyuck is laughing. Donghyuck laughs even harder at Mark’s expression, rolling about the grass and clutching at his stomach. At Donghyuck’s silly antics, Mark starts laughing too, finding nothing yet everything hilarious. Their laughing fit dies down as the song ends and another song begins. Mark searches for Donghyuck’s eyes as they catch their breath and his eyes twinkles when they make eye contact. It’s a look on Mark that Donghyuck really likes. Soft, genuine and _rare_. It makes it even more special when it’s directed at Donghyuck.

Mark gets up on his elbows, and shifts his body towards Donghyuck’s direction. There’s a small smile on his lips as he speaks, “It’s been such a long time since we’ve hung out like this. I’ve missed it.”

Donghyuck feels the rush of blood to his cheeks but he fights it off, pushes it down. He will not get flustered. He stirs from where he’s lying down and imitates Mark’s position, so that they’re both perched on their elbows, lying down face-to-face. He then rests the side of his head in his palm.

 “If you missed me, just say so.” Donghyuck says coyly, and smirks. God knows how much courage it took for him to do that. Donghyuck thinks he successfully threw Mark off balance when he catches what he thinks is a tinge of red on Mark’s cheeks. Before Donghyuck can fully confirm it, Mark has already changed his expression and any sign of being flustered was gone.

“You’re so full of yourself Lee Donghyuck,” Mark says in mock disgust.

 “Ooooh using my full name now? Very grown-up, Mark. Very threatening,” Donghyuck teases in return.

“You think you’re so sassy huh. You know what, you don’t deserve good music. Give me back my earphones,” Mark huffs, obviously he’s had enough of Donghyuck’s remarks.

“No! I’m not done listening yet! And I definitely _deserve_ good music. I introduced _you_ good music, mind you!” Donghyuck exclaims in protest but Mark won’t hear any of it. Mark stretches out his hand to Donghyuck’s ear to grab at the earphone but Donghyuck’s quicker and managed to cover the earphone in his ear using both his hands. Mark pushes Donghyuck’s hand out of the way and pulls at the cord. Mark is definitely set on winning this. But Donghyuck has a secure grip on the earphone and uses his whole body to shield his face away from Mark in an attempt to protect the earphone. Mark shoves Donghyuck’s shoulder and Donghyuck falls, now lying on his back against the grass. Mark takes advantage of it and goes over Donghyuck.

 “Hyuck give it back. I won’t repeat it twice.”

“No way!”

Donghyuck sees Mark coming in close and closes his eyes, bracing himself for Mark’s attacks (which they both know are harmless and come in the form of tickles). Marks hands are on the sides of Donghyuck’s head and Mark has Donghyuck trapped. Mark can definitely win this one now, he’s at an advantage. But suddenly he’s looking down on Donghyuck who’s scrunching his face, eyes shut, cheeks flushed and Mark just… He just…

 When Donghyuck doesn’t feel anything or hear any more movement, he’s a bit confused because he was sure Mark was one second away from victory. Donghyuck opens his eyes slowly and what greeted him was a sight he certainly wasn’t expecting. Mark has him caged and Mark’s face is mere centimetres from his own. He’s taken aback by their sudden proximity and his heart starts beating faster because _what the heck_. His eyes are wide and Mark’s ones are no different. They’re both obviously confused but they can’t seem to move away, there’s a sudden desire to gravitate towards each other. They don’t break eye contact but no words are exchanged. The whole situation doesn’t make sense. Donghyuck’s head is spinning.

“Umm Mark…” Donghyuck tries but it comes out barely audible, a whisper in the space between their lips.

At that, Mark’s eyes drops to Donghyuck’s lips and he moves in even closer. Mark then looks up at Donghyuck and swallows. There is only a fragment of space between them. “Hyuck, I-‘’ Mark starts to say but he was cut short by the ringing of a phone. The phone in the back pocket of Donghyuck’s jeans. Donghyucks’s phone. Oh.

Mark clears his throat and immediately moves away from Donghyuck. Whatever that was there between them dissipated immediately as well. Donghyuck sits up and grabs at his phone, heart still hammering against his chest. He tries to hide the shake in his hands.

 “Must be my mum calling to ask about dinner,” Donghyuck mumbles out an explanation before he gets up and walks a distance away to answer the call. He picks up the call and it’s his mum like he expected but he doesn’t register what she’s saying. His mind is too occupied. His mind wonders and wonders and then he wonders about the alternate universe in which there wasn’t any phone call. He thinks he knows what would have happened but it doesn’t make him any less confused.

After the call, they both went back to their respective houses since it was getting late. They didn’t talk about the thing in the park _,_ in fact they didn’t talk much at all. When Donghyuck rests in his bed after dinner, he replays the scene over and over in his head because he wants to understand from Mark’s perspective and no matter how many conclusions he comes up with, it all ends up with the possibility of Mark _liking him back_. Mark liking him back, which he doesn’t want to believe because he doesn’t want to count on false hope. Yet if Mark _truly_ likes him back, he’d still be at a complete lost because he doesn’t know if he’s ready for the next step. Donghyuck thinks it’s funny how he’s been avoiding feelings for so long but once he’s resolved on facing them head on, it comes all at once. Like an ambush. He thinks he needs another session with his personal counsellor as soon as possible. 

 

On Sunday Donghyuck wakes up late having spent the whole night thinking. He eats a quick lunch and phones his counsellor. 

“Na Jaemin, you busy today?” Donghyuck goes straight to the point when Jaemin picks up.

 “Good afternoon to you too.” Jaemin answers and Donghyuck can almost see him rolling his eyes. “It depends… What do you want?” Jaemin asks, his tone dripping with suspicion. To be fair, it’s only right for Jaemin to be wary. He’s fall victim to Donghyuck’s cries for him to come over numerous times only for them to be annoyingly trivial like, ‘ _I can’t find my skateboard!’_

 “It’s about Mark, Nana. I gotta tell you something,” Donghyuck grits out because even though it’s a personal matter and he doesn’t feel like wanting anyone else to know, he has to confide in somebody or else he’ll go crazy keeping it to himself. And it’s only Jaemin. He trusts him.

“OH. OHHHH. Oh. Mark. Ok, oh shi-“ Suddenly there’s a lot of movement on Jaemin’s end.

 “ _Did he say Mark? Chenle you heard that right?”_ comes from a voice eerily similar to Jisung’s.

_“Yeah he did! Hey Nana don’t turn off the speaker! We want to-“_

A whole lot of rustling later, “Hey Hyuck sorry about that,” Jaemin speaks, sounding out of breath.

 “Jaemin…. please tell me you are alone and I wasn’t on speaker.”

“Ok. I am alone and you weren’t on speaker.”

“Na Jaemin!”

 “I’m sorry! How was I supposed to know! They asked me to put you on speaker and then-“

 “Why are they even with you?!”

 “It’s a long story but,” Jaemin pauses and then, “let’s talk about _your_ story. Your _Mark_ story.”

 “I will if you come over.”

“Can’t. They have me at gunpoint. Why don’t _you_ come-“

“Finger guns don’t count Nana,” Donghyuck sighs and rubs at his temples. Sometimes talking with his friends requires a lot of patience. On the other end, Donghyuck hears Jaemin screaming away from the phone, _‘Hyuck says finger guns don’t count kids!’ ‘Awww come on! Just tell him to come over!”_

“Look, Hyuck. Just come over. You know the kids won’t spill. They adore you just as much as you adore them.”

“But I don’t.”

 “Exactly.”

 Which doesn’t make any sense. But he’s too tired to argue, so he says, “ _Fine._ Be there in five.”

Donghyuck finds himself lying down on the foot of Jaemin’s bed, head hanging off the side while the rest of his body stays on the bed. In his upside down vision, Chenle and Jisung are sitting on the floor watching some YouTube video on Chenle’s phone. Jaemin is on the bed with Donghyuck, only that he’s near the headboard and using the bed the right way unlike Donghyuck. Jaemin nudges Donghyuck’s torso using his foot and asks, “So what’s your big Mark issue?”

Donghyuck groans, partly because of the question and partly because of the flow of blood rushing to his head. “But the kids are here,” Donghyuck whines. Upside down Jisung and Chenle turn to him from where they were watching videos and start to protest at the same time, overlapping each other’s words such that Donghyuck has no idea what either of them are saying. Chenle smacks Jisung’s knee to get him to shut up, and then indignantly, he says, “If this is about Mark, we deserve to know. God knows how much we’ve endured watching you two dance around each other.”

 Donghyuck squawks at the statement and flails his arm outwards trying his best to hit Chenle but his head is upside down and he’s too far from them so he’s not in the best position. He only manages to hit air. The blood rushing to his head is starting to make him dizzy so he pulls himself up onto the bed and rolls facedown somewhere near Jaemin’s waist. “Fine,” he huffs out. He decides that as evil as they may seem, Jisung and Chenle are actually harmless and more loyal than he gives them credit for. He then grabs a pillow to bury his face, and as fast as the speed of light he says, “MarkandIalmostkissedyesterday.”

There was a second of silence before collective screaming erupted within the room. The three of them are screaming over each other, shooting rapid-fire questions at Donghyuck which Donghyuck doesn’t respond to because firstly, he can’t make them out and secondly, he’s too embarrassed to face them.

“Lee Donghyuck sit up right now and repeat those words again. I need to hear them,” Jaemin says gravely, as if it was a matter of life and death.

 Donghyuck sighs and flips himself over such that his face is no longer hiding in a pillow and out in the open instead.

 “Mark and I almost kissed yesterday and I don’t… know. What this means. This whole thing is so confusing,” Donghyuck groans. Jisung and Chenle are screaming again at the mention of _kiss_.

Jaemin hits him with a pillow repetitively, exclaiming, “I knew it! Mark likes you back doesn’t he!” Then he stops, and squints at Donghyuck. “What do you mean _almost?”_

“What do _you_ mean you knew Mark likes me?” Donghyuck shoots back.

 “ _Well…_ I’ve noticed the way he looks at you whenever you’re being clingy with someone else. Let’s just say he’s not very subtle,” Jaemin provides. The gears in Donghyuck’s mind starts turning as he processes Jaemin’s words because this is new information to him. He didn’t know Mark was watching him whenever he’s with someone else. Jaemin then nudges him again and repeats his question, “What is this ‘ _almost’_ Hyuck?”

 It pains Donghyuck to verbally recall the incident at the park and when he manages to get through it, Chenle makes sure to express how he feels about it.

 “Ewwww that’s so gay.”

“Shut up Chenle, we’re all gay,” Donghyuck deadpans with a roll of his eyes.

“And you guys haven’t talk about it since?” Jisung asks genuinely.

“We haven’t. it’s all so sudden, I don’t know if he really likes me. I mean what if he didn’t mean to do it? I can’t just assume-“

“You’re right,” Jaemin cuts him off.

“I am...?”

“Yes! You can’t assume things on your own Donghyuck. And I bet it’s as confusing for him as it is for you. You have to talk this out with him.”

 “Yeah I agree with Jaemin,” Jisung follows-up. “It’s the best way to clear this whole thing between the two of you.”

“I can’t just go talk to him. It’s so embarrassing! How do I even go about it. It’s not like-“

“Come on Hyuck, toughen up. You can do it, I know you can.” Chenle says encouragingly. “It’s time to stop hiding. What does your heart say?”

That silenced him and got him thinking. He doesn’t want any miscommunication or misunderstanding with Mark or even worse, risking their friendship by pretending nothing happened when something obviously did. Something happened that might change their dynamics forever and he knows it shouldn’t be ignored because feelings are involved. Which means people can get hurt if no one takes responsibility. His heart is telling him that it’s time to take the next step. Donghyuck has made up his mind. He thinks he’s ready.

“I guess you’re right. I’ll talk to him,” Donghyuck says resolutely.

Jisung shoots him a thumbs up and Chenle lets out a yell of happiness.

“Of course I’m right,” Jaemin smugly comments.

“Yeah you should listen to Jaemin. He’s always right,” Chenle adds.

 “His words are law,” Jisung echoes, nodding his head.

Donghyuck is definitely grateful to his friends but just how have Jaemin been raising the two Donghyuck doesn’t want to know.

 

 

**_[17.45] Hyuck:_ ** _Hey I’m coming over after dinner_

**_[17:46] Hyuck:_ ** _To return your cardigan_

**_[17:50] Mark:_ ** _Oh right ok sure. See you later_

Donghyuck cycles over to Mark’s house with the cardigan in tow and when he arrives, Mark is waiting for him on the swing set. Mark shifts to make space for Donghyuck and Donghyuck walks over to sit beside him. He passes the cardigan to Mark and Mark gives him a thankful smile.

“I already washed it so you don’t have to worry about grass stains or anything,” Donghyuck supplies as he nods towards the cardigan now in Mark’s lap.

Mark nods his head in thanks and says, “You didn’t have to. You could have just kept this y’know.”

The statement throws Donghyuck off balance even if Mark didn’t mean for it to. Mark is always making off-handed comments like that not knowing how much it means to Donghyuck. Because while words like those come from Mark as a friend, they reach Donghyuck as something more. Donghyuck doesn’t want to keep the cardigan as a _friend_ , he wants to keep it as _something_ _more_. And Donghyuck thinks it’s time Mark knows.

“I think we need to talk,” Donghyuck says as he lets out a shaky breath.

Beside him Mark stiffens for a second but then relaxes back into the swing, rocking it slightly. “I know.”

 “Listen Hyuck, about yesterday… I, can we just forget that it happened? I wasn’t thinking right and I didn’t mean for it to happen. Somehow it just escalated- I don’t even- and then we-“

 “Mark,” Donghyuck stops him. “Just tell me this. Was it a mistake?” Donghyuck asks earnestly.

Mark holds his gaze and what Donghyuck sees makes his heart crumble. _Guilt._

“Yes.” Mark says quietly but it rings loud and clear in Donghyuck’s ears.

 Donghyuck looks down into his lap and he wishes the ground would open up and swallow him whole. He lets out a bitter laugh.

“Hyuck I’m sorry, it really was a mistake.”

“I didn’t mean for my feelings to get in the way of our friendship and I shouldn’t have acted out on them.” Mark continues. “I know how you feel about relationships which is why I’ve-“

_Wait. What?_

“-been keeping to myself about it. I didn’t want to overwhelm you or push you away. But sometimes Hyuck, sometimes I look at you and I just. I want you. I want to be by your side, I want to make you happy, I want-“

_What is going on?_

_“-_ to be yours and you to be mine. But I try my best to hold it in ‘cause you’re my best friend! You’re my best friend Hyuck and I didn’t want to risk anything,” Mark pauses. Then he looks down and says quietly, “but I already have, haven’t I?”

 Donghyuck needs a few moments to take it all in because he was sure it was going one way a minute ago and then it took a turn in the complete opposite direction. Donghyuck feels like everything around him is spinning and his heart rate picks up because even though there’s so many things going on in his head, he needs to make one thing clear.

 “Mark, are you saying that you _like_ me?” Donghyuck asks cautiously, afraid he’s said something wrong.

Mark looks defeated and tired, like he lost a war or even worse, his best friend. “Yeah... For the longest time now actually. But I know you don’t want to get into a relationship. We’re all pretty clear about that and it’s ok if you don’t-“

“Mark stop talking,” Donghyuck says with an alarming seriousness. Mark stops, confused but doesn’t make any move to continue whatever he was saying. Donghyuck takes a deep breath and he says it. He says it all.

 “I need you to listen. I know in the past I’ve always mentioned that I’m not interested in getting into relationships and all that stuff but things can change and for my case, it did.” Donghyuck pauses to gauge Mark’s reaction but Mark remains quiet. So Donghyuck continues.

 “Things change because you happened, Mark. You made me realise things and _feel_ things and want things.” Donghyuck takes a deep breath to calm himself. “What I’m trying to say is that I like you. I really like you so if you like me too then maybe….” Donghyuck leaves his sentence hanging, looking at Mark’s face, hoping Mark understands what he’s getting at. The last part of what Donghyuck said must have made things clicked in Mark’s head because suddenly his eyes get bigger as he puts his palm across his chest.

“You like _me_?” Mark asks in disbelief.

 As overwhelmed as Donghyuck is right now, he laughs and reaches out to grab Mark’s hands. 

“Yes you idiot. I really really like you.”

“I.. How? I never expected- it’s just- I,” Mark stutters and then he gives up trying altogether. “I don’t know what to say.”

 Donghyuck intertwines their fingers and looks Mark in the eyes. His heart beats faster as he chooses his next words.

 “Say you’ll give us a try,” Donghyuck lets out softly.

And then there’s a twinkle in Mark’s eye, Donghyuck’s favourite look in the whole world, as he holds on tightly to Donghyuck’s hand. It’s his way of a reply. It also feels like a promise.

 Mark takes one hand to caress Donghyuck’s cheek and he whispers, “Is this really happening?” As if talking out loud would interrupt something and bring him to another reality.

“What do you think?” Donghyuck grins.

Mark laughs softly out of disbelief, his eyes locked with Donghyuck’s. His eyes then travel down to Donghyuck’s lips and he swallows as he tilts Donghyuck’s chin slightly upwards. He moves in closer, reducing the space between them. When their foreheads touch, Mark lets out a shaky breath and his eyes moves up from Donghyuck’s lips to Donghyuck’s eyes as if asking for permission. All it took was a small nod from Donghyuck for Mark to close the gap, and then there’s soft lips against soft lips. Mark’s hand grabs at Donghyuck’s neck to bring him closer and Donghyuck feels like his heart is going to explode out of his chest. Mark licks at Donghyuck’s mouth and Donghyuck opens up, his breath hitching when their tongues brush. He rests his hand on Mark’s shoulder and he pulls at Mark’s lower lip. It seems to do something for Mark because Mark holds him even tighter and kisses him even harder. Donghyuck’s head is in the clouds and his heart is erratic and he simply relishes the moment. When they pull away, they’re both out of breath and giggling like little kids.

 

“Y’know, Jaemin was really confident about you liking me back. I guess it’s true when he says he’s always right,” Donghyuck says as they rock the swing set back and forth.

“You confided in Jaemin? That explains all the weird looks he gave me,” Mark shares. He then continues, “Renjun was right too. He said I was a dense shithead if I couldn’t see how much you like me." 

“You confided in Renjun? That’s really brave of you, dense shithead,” Donghyuck jokes.

Mark laughs and then he drags his feet against then ground to make the swing set come to a stop. “Does this mean we’re together now?”

“I guess so,” Donghyuck answers, blushing furiously. “But let’s not rush into things, this whole thing is kind of new.”

“Yeah of course,” Mark pauses and then grins, “ _babe.”_

“ _Mark Lee Minhyung!_ ”

  

The next day after school when they broke the news to their friends about them getting together, it elicited a variation of response : whistling (Jeno, Jisung), fake crying (Jaemin), vomiting out of disgust (Chenle) and insulting nicknames (Renjun). Donghyuck thinks he got the message loud and clear that their friends are really happy for them.

This week, Jeno won rock-paper-scissors and chose to play soccer after school. Somehow Donghyuck ends up falling asleep in Mark’s lap again and when he awakes, the other five are gone and Mark is looking at him with a twinkle in his eyes.

“Where are your puppy videos,” Donghyuck questions.

 “You’re way cuter,” Mark replies and that earned him a painful smack on the back followed by a soft peck on the cheek.

 They make their way out of the soccer field, intertwined hands swinging back and forth as usual, as they walk towards the particular lamppost. Once they’re there, Mark ruffles Donghyuck’s hair and they say their goodbyes. Mark turns left and walks down the street to his neighbourhood. Donghyuck doesn’t move just yet. He counts the number of steps Mark takes. One.... five.... seven.... ten. Just as expected at his tenth step, Mark turns around with a grin on his face and waves. This time though, he breaks routine and jogs back up to Donghyuck, wrapping his arms around Donghyuck’s waist. There’s a twinkle in his eyes as he whispers, “I’ve always wanted to do this every time I turn back to look at you.” And then he brings their lips together.

Donghyuck used to hate dealing with feelings in any situation. He hated confronting them and talking about emotions and all that stuff. But now Donghyuck thinks, as he pulls Mark down to deepen the kiss, he’d tell Mark how he feels a thousand times over.

 


End file.
